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Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Victim

I've been accused of "always being the victim" and in the next breath that I'm "egotistical". I sort of see the two as being mutually exclusive. I have been the victim in my life.  But when I started my transition, I vowed that I would no longer be one. With only a short stumble along the way, I've been true to my promise.

I am tenacious, stubborn, logical, and yes, at times even egotistical. I can honestly tell you that I am not a victim.  I am a winner.  I am successful. I am proud.  And there's the rub for THEM. I should be living my life in guilt and sadness for what I have done. In their view of cause and effect, success comes with obedience to their "laws".  I've broken their "laws" and I'm still successful. They can see that I'm still an honest and loving person which creates an overwhelming dichotomy that can't be resolved. They see that I am not the sinful devil their culture tells them I must be. They can't sort it out. It's a puzzle that can not be put together. So, they will lash out.  I understand this.

No, I am not a victim. But they are victims. I could never tell them that. They are the ones living their life in sadness and guilt. They are the ones that can't get past a road block in life. They are the ones that depend on God to make things right through endless prayer and reading of the scriptures. They are the ones who pull in the "victim blanket" to cover themselves. And then they wonder why God offers no answer, no hope, and no resolution.  I'm sorry kids, but you have the power to solve some of life's problems (actually, most all of them) on your own. God's answer to your prayers may be to ignore you. To get that star on your forehead, you've got to do it yourself.


Copyright 2007 by Cindi Jones

Don't pick lemons.
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