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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Another birthday

Today marks a milestone for me. I’ve been here on our pale blue dot, our planet for 51 years. That’s just a hair more than half a century. That’s a long time in human years. I’ve had friends who have died along the way. Both of my parents still are alive. My brother and sister are still doing well. And I have two children who in turn have their little daughters. That’s a lot of family.
Why am I waxing about my family? I don’t feel old. But that number is creaking up. I’m getting older. A glimpse of my own mortality is shaping up somewhere in the back corners of my mind. Shall I run out and get all religious? No… I’ll just keep trudging along. I do my best to live the kind of life my mother would be proud of. I think that I’m a pretty decent person. I’m pretty humble too.

Mom sent me a check with a card. My folks live several states away. It might as well be half way round the world for as often as I get to see them. I usually get up to see them once a year. And they come out for a visit once a year. I can certainly use the money, don’t get me wrong. I’ll throw it in the good stuff for Cindi fund. But really, I’d be just as happy if she gave me a ring to talk for an hour. Hmmm… it’s only 2:30 PM. I’ll give her another half hour. If she doesn’t call me, I’ll call her.

I’m terrible about calling. I’ve inherited the cheap gene. I have a plan that allows me to call as often as I want. But the cheap gene has been a harsh taskmaster and forced me into a life style that I can not bend. Dad has a cheap gene too; he has the same phone plan as I and yet only rings me up once a month or so. I suppose that I can blame my dad for the cheap gene. He was the one who gave it to mom by osmosis. Our whole family is cheap.

Now, I have a cheap gene but I manage to spend a lot of money. My cello developed a crack in it this week. That is very bad. It's like having a crack in your engine block. The company I bought it from offered to fix it for free. Or, if I wish, I can use the full value that I paid for the instrument to purchase another. Ooooh I like that better. Yes, for a mere 3500 dollars more, I can upgrade to a nicer instrument. I’m not cheap when it comes to good quality. I’ll blow my wad there. For what my ultimate instrument will cost, I could replace your car. I am of course assuming that you drive a really cheap car.

For my birthday I stayed up all night. I rented a couple of very good movies and pigged out on popcorn. After the movies, I got interested in writing. I always write my worst when I’m dead tired. That’s when I write the most content. It’s now 2:35 PM. Oh wait… I mentioned the time just a little bit ago didn’t I? Oh yes, Cindi is very tired.

But I’m also watching the politics on the tele. Republicans VS Democrats. Hey, it’s an easy choice for me. Republicans don’t think that I, a very attractive and charming transsexual woman, deserve to have any personal rights. They frown on abortion, and spew hatred to people like me. I’ve been told I’d be better off dead. Hey, I work hard and pay my share of taxes. What should they care? So what’s the other party? Oh yea… they look a lot like the Republicans in so many ways. But at least they’re not out publicly demanding that my rights be limited. That’s a good thing isn’t it?

I suppose it doesn’t matter much. I’ve already voted by mail. This was the first time in my life that I’ve voted a straight ticket. It was an easy choice. If they vote in a block, they can be voted out in a block. I think that if my political guy can’t think for himself, then he doesn’t belong in office. I’m registered as an independent. Wouldn’t be great if we could all just get along? It’s a nice dream.

Wow.. I was just going to jot down a few notes on today, the birthday of the New and Improved Cindi Jones. It’s turned into a bit more than that. And speaking of turning, this room I’m in doesn’t look all that square anymore. It’s kinda, sorta, wavy like. Yea, I’m tired. I’m drunk with no alcohol to blame. All I can blame is a wonderful night of some good entertainment and great inspiration to knock out a couple of really good articles written elsewhere in the ether sphere.

Take care my web readers. Vote your conscience. Know the issues. And think of us people who live in the nowhere land who deserve our rights just like everybody else.

Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Why is it so unreachable?

How can I describe this feeling to want,
this need to hold and to console?
Depression it is not,
perhaps it borders there.
So many I must help,
but they labor so far distant.
Oh, that I could be with them
to embrace and console.
My spirit flitters hither and thither
crying for their calming.
Anxiety cruelly tugs from the edges,
hoping to pull me to another plane.
Am I so different,
so disconnected,
that my thoughts defy my very existence?

Could it be that I crave that very love
I so desperately want to give?

Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Religious Persecution

Copyright 2006 Cindi Jones. This essay may not be reproduced in any form without explicit authorization from the author.

Have religious zealots got you down? Does your mother make you feel guilty? Does your dad tell you that you will burn in hell? Take heart. YOU have the power to overcome your sins and transgressions.

If you pull out your rolodex and cross reference religions that use some form of the old testament as scripture, include your JC's, RC's, ED's, and STD's or any other acronyms, those that make mother's guilt a hereditary trait, and those that post letters, symbols, or pictures on a stick... Make sure you include those that dress in clergy drag for services. And what you'll have is a big messy stack of cards.... perhaps more than you started with.

You see, that's the miracle. From any of these recognized sources, you have the ability to really wreck someone's day. That's what hell is my friend; cleaning up someone elses messy stack of cards.

Now, what I like to do when I admonish someone, is pick and choose from the holy text.... you know, form interesting combinations such as:

- Blessed are those who eat pork on the sabbath for theirs is a time to dance.
- Yea give unto ceasar he who would cast the first stone for he is certainly a harlot.
- And yea, he who says Lord, Lord hath forgotten where the queen layeth down.

or my favorite

- And he went forth into the river and changed it all to wine. And the wedding supper twirth revived.

Some you can leave as is, you know, like Lot giving his two daughters to strangers. Or the songs of Solomon are favorites where the author continues to dote on his lovers breasts. These are truly spiritual morsels that should be committed to memory. Or you can commit yourself. It really doesn't matter. The results are always the same.

So what do I pull from all of this?

Before you go to the wedding, make sure that Solomon's performance contract is up to date and that he has been paid. Invite your guests to bring rocks as gifts. Most definitely stop off at Lot's house. Pick up the babes and a couple of large cups. Light your lanterns and have a good time. Yea verily, saith Cindi.

Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.