I've read a lot of online posts recently of TG's self medicating. Some are purchasing creams and all natural suplements at exhorbitant prices. For any who fall in this camp, I have a story.....
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So there's this kid standing on the corner rattling some rabbit turds in his hand.
"What's you got there?" asks another.
"Those are smart pills, they make you smarter!"
"Welll I want some, how much?"
"Five dollars for the lot!"
"Okay, here's a five, now give me the smart pills."
He's handed the smart pills and he pops them all in his mouth.
"Gawd, that tastes like rabbit shit!"
"See there? You're getting smarter already!"
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Sorry... I just had to through it out there. To those of you spending so much money on the crank medications, give it a rest. Swallow your pride a bit and go see a doctor. Do it the right way and you'll save many hard earned dollars.
Cindi
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Phobia
Phobia
Some people fear it.
Cause they can't get near it.
It hurts, cuts quick to the bone.
They see it and hear it.
Surely it's a skill they wont hone.
Perhaps they admire it,
they want to hire it,
next time they're alone.
Shirley's cat calls.
Yes, may I feed the kitty?
That'll be a fifty won't that be nifty,
an even hundred per couple if you care.
You know that they'll hide it,
a business expense for conference,
it's done every day don't you know.
Yup those homos are cut ups,
they'll always fake up
and turn up on O'Reilly's show.
Transsexuals faggots and queers,
O My goodnes gracious and my sakes alive,
don't tell me they're poets too?
Some people fear it.
Cause they can't get near it.
It hurts, cuts quick to the bone.
They see it and hear it.
Surely it's a skill they wont hone.
Perhaps they admire it,
they want to hire it,
next time they're alone.
Shirley's cat calls.
Yes, may I feed the kitty?
That'll be a fifty won't that be nifty,
an even hundred per couple if you care.
You know that they'll hide it,
a business expense for conference,
it's done every day don't you know.
Yup those homos are cut ups,
they'll always fake up
and turn up on O'Reilly's show.
Transsexuals faggots and queers,
O My goodnes gracious and my sakes alive,
don't tell me they're poets too?
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Book comment by Andrea James
Andrea James has been kind enough to offer the following about my autobiography "Squirrel Cage":
"In this autobiography, at times whimsical and at times serious, Cindi continues to hold strong to her principles in the face of so much rejection from those around her: family, faith, friends. I believe this story can be a source of inspiration for others facing similar difficulties, by showing that acceptance from others must start with self-acceptance." .. Andrea James
Thanks for your kind words Andrea. I appreciate it so much!
Cindi
"In this autobiography, at times whimsical and at times serious, Cindi continues to hold strong to her principles in the face of so much rejection from those around her: family, faith, friends. I believe this story can be a source of inspiration for others facing similar difficulties, by showing that acceptance from others must start with self-acceptance." .. Andrea James
Thanks for your kind words Andrea. I appreciate it so much!
Cindi
Sunday, September 10, 2006
My dog is better than yours
I’m not a psychologist. I don’t have formal training; I don’t have the sheepskin claiming my expertise in human understanding. But I have graduated from the school of hard knocks. I’ve met and had more than a casual passing relationship with more transgender people in my life than most professionals will ever see in their careers. So why do I start tonight’s article this way? There’s an aspect to our condition that I’ve never read about, nor heard, but I have experienced.
In my own young life, I had a miserable time connecting with the others in my classes at school. My parent’s attributed this to the fact that I was a year ahead of my classmates as far as age was concerned. But as I look back on my experience, I know that it was something else. And I’ve seen it in others with the dysphoric experience. I was hopelessly immature.
I honestly can not believe, although I did feel, that the other children could see through my outer shell and observe the feelings I had of my physical sex. They could not comprehend my secret thoughts; wishing I were a girl. They could never hope to understand those things not demonstrably displayed in the way I was dressed. Yet, they treated me differently. Their actions were often times cruel and deliberately hurtful.
I was different. My abilities to interact were not developed. And in this respect, I was truly a dweeb. My physical attributes did attract young women. And for my early teen years, I managed to chase away every one of them after a casual introduction. Nothing could explain the burning and hurt I would feel after every episode. My skills in communication, body language, and thought were totally emotional. I could not introduce the thought process, evaluate, and further refine them. They existed in their grade school form for much of my teen years and took several years as an adult to fully develop, much less understand.
In the transsexual world I entered in the mid 1980’s I saw similar traits play out in others I would meet in their gender dysphoric movie. Failed careers, failed relationships, and a complete loss of structure in their lives appeared on the screen. Some had been able to transcend devastation by focusing on their education. Yet the characters were the same. The plot lines were nearly identical. The sadness and desperation were all too common. Trans gendered people all portrayed pictures of undeveloped personalities. We acted in so many ways like a bunch of young teenagers.
So why, did this never come up in a group therapy session, why did I not encounter it in personal therapy sessions? Why was this an unaddressed issue in helping us? I’ve never found out. Is it something that we are able to hide from professional therapists? Is the transgender dysphoria such a powerful problem that they are unable to see it? Are the two things inexplicably intertwined? Why can they not help us with this important problem in our lives?
Cindi
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
In my own young life, I had a miserable time connecting with the others in my classes at school. My parent’s attributed this to the fact that I was a year ahead of my classmates as far as age was concerned. But as I look back on my experience, I know that it was something else. And I’ve seen it in others with the dysphoric experience. I was hopelessly immature.
I honestly can not believe, although I did feel, that the other children could see through my outer shell and observe the feelings I had of my physical sex. They could not comprehend my secret thoughts; wishing I were a girl. They could never hope to understand those things not demonstrably displayed in the way I was dressed. Yet, they treated me differently. Their actions were often times cruel and deliberately hurtful.
I was different. My abilities to interact were not developed. And in this respect, I was truly a dweeb. My physical attributes did attract young women. And for my early teen years, I managed to chase away every one of them after a casual introduction. Nothing could explain the burning and hurt I would feel after every episode. My skills in communication, body language, and thought were totally emotional. I could not introduce the thought process, evaluate, and further refine them. They existed in their grade school form for much of my teen years and took several years as an adult to fully develop, much less understand.
In the transsexual world I entered in the mid 1980’s I saw similar traits play out in others I would meet in their gender dysphoric movie. Failed careers, failed relationships, and a complete loss of structure in their lives appeared on the screen. Some had been able to transcend devastation by focusing on their education. Yet the characters were the same. The plot lines were nearly identical. The sadness and desperation were all too common. Trans gendered people all portrayed pictures of undeveloped personalities. We acted in so many ways like a bunch of young teenagers.
So why, did this never come up in a group therapy session, why did I not encounter it in personal therapy sessions? Why was this an unaddressed issue in helping us? I’ve never found out. Is it something that we are able to hide from professional therapists? Is the transgender dysphoria such a powerful problem that they are unable to see it? Are the two things inexplicably intertwined? Why can they not help us with this important problem in our lives?
Cindi
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Diabetes, HRT, and Cinamon
I'm sure that some of you know that I have Diabetes type II. And for this reason, I have discontinued HRT for some years now. There is some evidence that suggests that HRT can help bring on the condition, especially if it runs in the family.
So if you have a family history of Diabetes, I strongly suggest you share that information with your physician so that you can watch for the signs and take appropriate action.Type II Diabetes can sometimes be managed with pills or injections of insulin. But in some cases like mine, the medications are a hit and miss situation.I've been working with my physician in the use of a natural spice, cinamon. It is now available as a supplement.
It's just cinamon compressed into tablets. You can also make a cinamon drink with the spice and water. My experience is anecdotal at best. But I have been able to remove two of the 4 medications I was taking and my blood sugar levels are on average 60 to 80 points lower than before the treatment. Now, my blood sugars for the past few weeks are running on the low side instead of dangerously high.I'm not suggesting that you run out and buy cinamon supplements if you have Diabetes type II. But I am strongly suggesting that you do some research and discuss it with your doctor. In my case, I'm very sad that I did not find this sooner. I do have irrepairable nerve damage from the disease.
Cindi
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
So if you have a family history of Diabetes, I strongly suggest you share that information with your physician so that you can watch for the signs and take appropriate action.Type II Diabetes can sometimes be managed with pills or injections of insulin. But in some cases like mine, the medications are a hit and miss situation.I've been working with my physician in the use of a natural spice, cinamon. It is now available as a supplement.
It's just cinamon compressed into tablets. You can also make a cinamon drink with the spice and water. My experience is anecdotal at best. But I have been able to remove two of the 4 medications I was taking and my blood sugar levels are on average 60 to 80 points lower than before the treatment. Now, my blood sugars for the past few weeks are running on the low side instead of dangerously high.I'm not suggesting that you run out and buy cinamon supplements if you have Diabetes type II. But I am strongly suggesting that you do some research and discuss it with your doctor. In my case, I'm very sad that I did not find this sooner. I do have irrepairable nerve damage from the disease.
Cindi
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Adversity's Mountain
Night's crushing black fades to day
The world caves in as you make your way
Adversity's mountain adds to the fray
Despair's thoughts tear through your mind
Tearing and shredding their way unkind
Odiously reaping their unending grind
All paths ahead seem erased
Brambles and thorns lay waste
Contentment gone all plans replaced.
Anguish and agony must end
The fragile branch no longer bends.
Life itself now condescends.
Yet, here we are, your friends.
Love shimmers through advocate panes.
A wall of hope offered, no disdain
Caring arms protect and maintain.
Live for now, agony will wait
Don't give in, don't take the bait.
Loving friends carry sorrow's weight.
Copyright 2006 Cindi Jones. This article may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the author.
The world caves in as you make your way
Adversity's mountain adds to the fray
Despair's thoughts tear through your mind
Tearing and shredding their way unkind
Odiously reaping their unending grind
All paths ahead seem erased
Brambles and thorns lay waste
Contentment gone all plans replaced.
Anguish and agony must end
The fragile branch no longer bends.
Life itself now condescends.
Yet, here we are, your friends.
Love shimmers through advocate panes.
A wall of hope offered, no disdain
Caring arms protect and maintain.
Live for now, agony will wait
Don't give in, don't take the bait.
Loving friends carry sorrow's weight.
Copyright 2006 Cindi Jones. This article may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the author.
Black
During the past few days, an online friend has been grieving for his friend who OD'd and may lose his life. A group of us have banded together to lend our proverbial shoulders to cry on. We've called and written and done everything that we can to lend him our support. But when life is darkest, it seems that nothing can ever be happy again. I've been prompted during this episode to write a few poems to express my feelings. This work attempts to find something good in the dreariest color.....
Black, devoid of light
Black, held from our sight
Black
Black, the abscense of light
where the fetus develops
and learns to fight it's way from the womb.
Black, devoid of light
where stars are born
and readied for flight
as givers of life.
Black, held from our sight
All's still there in the night
awaiting a new dawn.
Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones RSS and Atom feeds allowed. All other use by permission only.
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