I plead with God for many years for answers. And finally I stopped, for my answer had been there all along. The problem was mine to resolve.
Will I ever have a real answer? In my case it no longer matters. I know that I've done everything that I can to provide for my family and take care of them. I've done my best to rebuild our relationships. I still grieve at times and suppose that I always will. Sometimes I hate this situation.
BUT. I do have a new life. I have a husband who loves me more than "they" do. For he loves me unconditionally. I have friends who care deeply for me. That which I've gained has tremendous value. Those who could not grow beyond this thing are still stuck at the crossroads and will not let the past become history. They may never get over it. And for that I am very sorry. For the rest of my family, our relationships have grown ever stronger over the years.
So, while I'm feeling down right now... while I am still wondering why.... the answer still remains the same. These are my problems. I am still working on them. I am still growing. And, I still miss my family.
You know it's funny. If we were crippled in an accident, they'd not have a problem with it. If we were born with some other physical defect, they'd fully accept us and dote over us our whole life. They can't see or understand this.
So why does it have to tear us apart? Only because we let it. And sadly, it is a "WE" thing. Both parties must work on it. Why does God let it happen? Perhaps he let it happen as a biological mistake. Perhaps he doesn't care. Perhaps there is no god. It doesn't matter. It's all part of the rich tapestry of life.
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