Cindi Jones, Author of Squirrel Cage

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What's my sign?

2007-05-29T16:14:00.001-07:00

Babylonian astronomers at some point during the 1st millennium BC divided the ecliptic into twelve equal zones of celestial longitude to create the first known celestial coordinate system. I believe that this was when the concept of astrology was developed. The basis for determining a person's zodiacal sign was the location of the sun on the day of a person's birth. By my reasoning this was

Why did god ignore me?

2007-04-26T23:15:00.001-07:00

I've been having many depressing feelings today. My folks came to visit for four weeks and left early yesterday. I look forward to their visit every year. I plan all year for it. And when they leave, I am totally crushed. I cried all day yesterday and today. I've been doing nothing but moping around. Why did this thing have to tear my family apart? Why did I have to leave my home state to

I love the British

2007-04-09T23:52:00.001-07:00

I've always admired the British. They are students of language. At least that's the impression I get when watching their news reports or see one of their citizens interviewed on television. Their prime minister can also speak in real sentences…something that escapes our esteemed leader these days (President Bush).

Steve Stanton's Reply

2007-03-20T15:06:00.001-07:00

Many of us have been following the trials and tribulations of Steve Stanton, the city manager of Largo, Florida. Steve's legal representative has prepared a response to the city council: Steve Stanton's reply to Largo Commision Most of the response is two included articles titled "Workplace Gender Transition Guidelines" and "Transition Issues in the Workplace" both by the Human Rights

Theory and faith unite

2007-03-20T13:26:00.001-07:00

A theory isn't a theory unless there are supporting facts. Until there are supporting facts, it's just a guess or postulation. For example, it is just a theory that the ball will fall to the ground if you let go of it. A theory is the best explanation given the facts that we can measure. If there is nothing that can be measured and tested, then it can't be a theory. This is called rational

Contemplating Suicide?

2007-03-12T14:37:00.001-07:00

When I considered suicide it was to "show them" or to "make them feel guilty or sorry" for me. It wasn't selfishness that motivated my thoughts. It was an ending to punish those who knew me. I finally realized that sentiment had no logic. It had no resolution in MY favor.When you are in the depths of depression, you can not think clearly. Rationalization is pointless. Thoughtful consideration

The Victim

2007-03-10T01:00:00.001-08:00

I've been accused of "always being the victim" and in the next breath that I'm "egotistical". I sort of see the two as being mutually exclusive. I have been the victim in my life. But when I started my transition, I vowed that I would no longer be one. With only a short stumble along the way, I've been true to my promise.I am tenacious, stubborn, logical, and yes, at times even egotistical. I

Can good exist without evil?

2007-03-04T20:55:00.001-08:00

Many religions can not exist without the preponderance of evil. It is inconceivable that reasonable moral values (like, don't steal, be nice to other people, don't rape your sister, etc) can not be taught without the vision of an empowered religious leader and buying into a religious cultism of sorts. No, atheists surely can not teach these values, for they do not believe in the values of

Hey everybody... I just realized it's my birthday!

2007-03-01T16:25:00.001-08:00

March 1, 1988 I had my surgery in Trinidad, Colorado. I'm a Biber girl. I was the second surgery he performed after he had recovered from a serious accident with one of his horses. I had waited 6 months for his recovery... was that every a tough one to sit out.I've lived a lot of life since then. I'm grateful for every single day. I've learned to live again. I live my life to the fullest. I've

The Dumbing Down of America

2007-02-28T16:16:00.001-08:00

Frontline (on PBS) has been doing a series on the news that has been terribly fascinating. Last night they presented several disturbing facts about our society. Since the advent of the television program "60 Minutes", the networks have discovered that it is possible to make news profitable. Until that program aired, each network was responsible for presenting the news as required by their

Unsent Lament

2007-02-23T09:30:00.001-08:00

Yes, I knew that this time might come. I knew that someday you would open your arms and invite me in, or that you would learn more of my past and exclude me from your life. You have felt abandoned as you have grown up into a beautiful young woman. Now that you have a child you wondered why I

To Her Parents

2007-02-13T18:52:00.001-08:00

There is much in this world and this life that we can't understand. We have our science, our religious faith, and our cherished traditions to help us cope with the problems that come our way. Yet, sometimes these things are not enough to help us understand, comprehend, believe, and forgive when the most unexpected appears on our front door step.Let's suppose that you

So, you have found me here

2007-02-02T01:05:00.000-08:00

I've finally been able to get my site up and running where I'll be hosting my "official" blog. I'll continue to post here, but my primary focus will be in keeping my own site in tip top shape. If you're interested in following my blog, please consider bookmarking the following URL:http://www.cindijones.com/blogPlease let me know how you like it.Cindi

Pinus Contortus

2007-01-05T13:02:00.000-08:00

I know that poetry can be painful to read and sometimes even worse to understand. In some of my work, I leave the message somewhat open so the reader can take a piece of his/her own story to meld with the work and derive something meaningful. Here is such a piece. The poem is named "Pinus Contortus"; an unlikely name for a poem. It is the genus and species for a common evergreen found in the

Christmas Coal

2006-12-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

As a child, I was told often how good little girls and boys would receive precious gifts from Santa. However, if they had been bad, they would receive a lump of coal. I tried my best to be good. I was not good to get good presents. I didn’t care too much about the expressed bribe for most of the year. Don’t get me wrong. As a kid I loved Christmas presents and I could not sleep on Christmas

Chrismas the Great Inclusion; PART EIGHT

2006-12-17T20:58:00.001-08:00

Christmas; The Great Inclusin Part eight - The GivingOur Puritan forefathers came to our fair country to escape the corruptness of the European church. They did not celebrate Christmas. They had no desire to participate in the inclusion of wild riotous parties and the like. For many years, their perspective held traditional celebrations in check. There still are Christian sects who refuse to

Christmas the Great Inclusion; PART SEVEN

2006-12-17T20:53:00.001-08:00

Christmas; The Great Inclusin Part seven - The TreeOur most popular modern Christmas tradition is decorating everything. We’ve got to have tinsel, bows, bright colored paper plastered everything. And if that isn’t enough, we string lights made in China to waste countless kilowatt hours powered by fossil fuels. It all started with the Christmas tree.The Christmas tree has no connection to the

Christmas the Great Inclusion; PART SIX

2006-12-17T20:45:00.001-08:00

Christmas; The Great InclusinPart six - Viscum AlbumMistletoe (Phoradendron flavescens or Viscum Album) is a parasitic plant that grows hardwood trees for the most part. As mistletoe grows on a tree, it sends out its roots right into the tree's bark and takes nutrients from the tree. Mistletoe does not kill the tree but it is known to cause deformities in the branches. Mistletoe stays green all

Christmas the Great Inclusion; PART FIVE

2006-12-17T20:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas; The Great InclusionPart five - Amanita MuscariaThe fly agaric (amanita muscaria) with its fiery red cap and white “stars” is one of the most spectacular of our forest fungi. Down through the ages it has been compared to bull testicles and male genitalia and worshipped as sthe earthy incarnation of infinity, divinity and virility. It’s characiature appears on common objects from key

Christmas the Great Inclusion; PART FOUR

2006-12-17T20:14:00.001-08:00

Christmas; The Great InclusionPart Four - Yule Tide LogThe Scandinavian tribes also celebrated the winter solstice. It seems like the ancient peoples all understood astronomy to some degree. Many experts give the civilizations in the old days a lot of credit for becoming expert astronomers. But here’s the deal. Other than getting smashed on alcoholic beverages, they didn’t have all that much

Christmas the Great Inclusion; PART THREE

2006-12-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas; The Great Inclusin Part three - The Birthday of a KingThere is only one surviving historical account of Jesus made during his time. Josephus, a historian of the time, wrote of Jesus being executed as a criminal. He elaborated no further. He did not write anything of the life of Jesus or his influence… only that he was killed as a common thief. Intuitively, however, you might think

Christmas, the Great Inclusion; PART TWO

2006-12-17T19:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas; The Great InclusionPart two- Saul of TarsusWhat do you do when you have a struggling new religion and you just can’t get it off the ground. You’ve got some new ideas, some fresh perspectives… you want to get the word out.Yes, this is what the early Christians faced. The Romans had really done a number on them. Early Christians were a sect of the Jewish faith. Oh yes. They were

Christmas, the Great Inclusion; PART ONE

2006-12-17T19:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas; The Great InclusionPart One - The War on ChristmasIn our day, we declare war on anything we don’t like. I remember when we declared the war on drugs. I remember thinking at the time that this was a war we would never win. We didn’t have a known enemy to conquer. We had no idea what we would be fighting. There have been other wars declared in the meantime. The war on poverty, the

Wishing My Life Away

2006-12-12T22:41:00.000-08:00

Wishing My Life AwayThe days are countin downNo more messin roundIn that time I'll be founddoing the inevitable.Am I wishin my life awaywantin this thing but still stayfocused on what must be done today?Time clicks by so slowlyThe seconds seem like minutesand the minutes seem like hoursBla bla bla, you've heard it before.But can I say the interum isprecious to me?Can it be that I just can't

Standards of care are very worthwhile

2006-12-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

In dealing with transsexualism, medical professionals require us to follow the Harry Benjamin standards of care (SOC). These standards are a minimum set of requirements that a transsexual must follow prior to obtaining irreversible gender reassignment surgery. They include reasonable requirements for therapy, hormone treatment, and living full time in a role of the new gender for one year. Many

Bible quotes that come in handy

2006-11-28T16:24:00.000-08:00

I really hate to get involved in religious discussions when hatred and bigotry are involved. Yet it happens. Some of my friends have asked me for appropriate quotes that they may pass on to friends and family.These references work in almost any situation:From Mathew chapter 22: 37-40Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy

Is the kingdom of heaven among us?

2006-11-13T04:24:00.001-08:00

"The kingdom of heaven is among us." I borrowed one of my dad's DVDs recently. He didn't like it because he said he couldn't follow it. It is called "The Kingdome of Heaven" and was released two or three years ago. I encourage everyone to watch it. I guarantee you that if you catch the real kingdom of heaven in that film, your life will be enriched.I know that when I die, my ashes will be

What seperates us from the animals?

2006-11-07T06:49:00.001-08:00

Ahhh... interesting question. Yes there are similarities in the animal kingdom. Scientists have been studying gay mice for some time.I raised pigeons when I was a kid. I had a hen. She was beautiful and was my favorite. All the cocks liked her too. They all mounted her. Well go figure... she mounted another hen and they had chicks. Once the chicks were raised, he went back to being a she

Welcome to the machine

2006-11-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

Have you seen it? Everyone is in a quick lunch place; the camera angle is looking straight down as people move around the tables and through the line. The music is quickly paced and peppy. The image presented is a machine, the cogs are people as they move in tempo to the music. At the end of the line, everyone zips their Visa card through the pay machine and zips on through. The cogs turn,

My dream last night... was it a vision?

2006-11-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

I ventured out on the lawn... we were having a cookout. The Queen of England was sitting at a table with my mother and the sprinkler was soaking them all. I had a towel and sopped up as much as I could but I needed a fresh towel.So I went back to the house and got in the elevator. Well the elevator was very tiny and I found myself on the outside of the building. I pushed the buttons for the

Shall we stay in the public eye after transition?

2006-11-05T02:04:00.000-08:00

In an online forum we are discussing whether living in stealth hurts the transsexual cause. Most of us tend to go our ways, disappear from the transition scened and blend back into society. There are many however who will never pass completely. Wouldn't it be nice for everyone if those who could pass well come out publicly? I'm not in those ranks folks. I like my private life. This internet

HRT not working?

2006-11-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

An online friend of mine confessed today that she didn't think that she was getting much from the HRT she is receiving from her doctor. Hormone replacement therapy is one of the medical procedures we go through prior to surgery as a transsexual. It is similar to what a normal woman goes through after having a hysterectomy. The difference in transsexuals is that the doseages are elevated in an

Learning to Pass - Walking

2006-11-03T23:18:00.001-08:00

I've been asked to start a conversation on passing. I was already thinking of something when I received that request. Please feel free to join in this discussion. If you'd like to see me write tips on other subjects, please PM me.I watched a documentary on Discovery last night called switching sexes. Among a few topics they chronicled one fellow before he started his transition and ended with her

Cindi's Beliefs

2006-11-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

I've been asked many times during the past several months what I believe. My writings have invited many curious questions from my readers. In another forum, I am answering questions concerning Mormon doctrine and history. I am not sharing my beliefs in that thread.I have been hesitant to do this for various reasons but I think that posting my beliefs may answer questions for some, clear up

Another birthday

2006-10-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Today marks a milestone for me. I’ve been here on our pale blue dot, our planet for 51 years. That’s just a hair more than half a century. That’s a long time in human years. I’ve had friends who have died along the way. Both of my parents still are alive. My brother and sister are still doing well. And I have two children who in turn have their little daughters. That’s a lot of family.Why am I

Why is it so unreachable?

2006-10-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

How can I describe this feeling to want,this need to hold and to console?Depression it is not,perhaps it borders there.So many I must help,but they labor so far distant.Oh, that I could be with themto embrace and console.My spirit flitters hither and thithercrying for their calming.Anxiety cruelly tugs from the edges,hoping to pull me to another plane.Am I so different,so disconnected,that my

Religious Persecution

2006-10-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Copyright 2006 Cindi Jones. This essay may not be reproduced in any form without explicit authorization from the author.Have religious zealots got you down? Does your mother make you feel guilty? Does your dad tell you that you will burn in hell? Take heart. YOU have the power to overcome your sins and transgressions.If you pull out your rolodex and cross reference religions that use some form of

Smart Pills

2006-09-15T01:01:00.000-07:00

I've read a lot of online posts recently of TG's self medicating. Some are purchasing creams and all natural suplements at exhorbitant prices. For any who fall in this camp, I have a story.....--------------------------------------------------------------------------------So there's this kid standing on the corner rattling some rabbit turds in his hand."What's you got there?" asks another."Those

Phobia

2006-09-13T16:41:00.000-07:00

PhobiaSome people fear it.Cause they can't get near it.It hurts, cuts quick to the bone.They see it and hear it.Surely it's a skill they wont hone.Perhaps they admire it,they want to hire it,next time they're alone.Shirley's cat calls.Yes, may I feed the kitty?That'll be a fifty won't that be nifty,an even hundred per couple if you care.You know that they'll hide it,a business expense for

Book comment by Andrea James

2006-09-12T02:31:00.000-07:00

Andrea James has been kind enough to offer the following about my autobiography "Squirrel Cage":"In this autobiography, at times whimsical and at times serious, Cindi continues to hold strong to her principles in the face of so much rejection from those around her: family, faith, friends. I believe this story can be a source of inspiration for others facing similar difficulties, by showing that

My dog is better than yours

2006-09-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

I’m not a psychologist. I don’t have formal training; I don’t have the sheepskin claiming my expertise in human understanding. But I have graduated from the school of hard knocks. I’ve met and had more than a casual passing relationship with more transgender people in my life than most professionals will ever see in their careers. So why do I start tonight’s article this way? There’s an aspect to

Diabetes, HRT, and Cinamon

2006-09-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that some of you know that I have Diabetes type II. And for this reason, I have discontinued HRT for some years now. There is some evidence that suggests that HRT can help bring on the condition, especially if it runs in the family.So if you have a family history of Diabetes, I strongly suggest you share that information with your physician so that you can watch for the signs and take

Adversity's Mountain

2006-09-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

Night's crushing black fades to dayThe world caves in as you make your wayAdversity's mountain adds to the frayDespair's thoughts tear through your mindTearing and shredding their way unkindOdiously reaping their unending grindAll paths ahead seem erasedBrambles and thorns lay wasteContentment gone all plans replaced.Anguish and agony must endThe fragile branch no longer bends.Life itself now

Black

2006-09-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

During the past few days, an online friend has been grieving for his friend who OD'd and may lose his life. A group of us have banded together to lend our proverbial shoulders to cry on. We've called and written and done everything that we can to lend him our support. But when life is darkest, it seems that nothing can ever be happy again. I've been prompted during this episode to write a few